Bitten by a ViPR

UnknownIn my new found enthusiasm for the gym, I’ve found myself signing up for lots of taster sessions to try different bits of equipment.  Initially I signed up to a PowerPlate taster session for tonight, in the hope of learning how to use it to maximise the effects of post-workout stretching.  When I signed up on Monday, however, Wednesday seemed like an age away, so I got a bit over enthusiastic and phoned the gym yesterday to sign up for a ViPR taster.

Now, having been to the gym for years…hang-on, I’ll re-phrase that…. Having paid to go to a gym for years but not often bothered, I was aware of the name ViPR, but never quite got round to asking what the hell this oddly named bit of equipment was.  However, I had used a strange rubber tube contraction (see pic above) to do shoulder presses before, clearly without knowing that this was the fabled ViPR in question.  Who knew!!  God only knows where they get the names from, but having signed up for a 30 min class last night, now I know.  You couldn’t be in more pain if you survived accidentally walking through a nest of real vipers, and they all bit you on the arse.

‘Only thirty minutes!’ I joyfully thought to myself as I bounded up the stairs for the gym.  A quick 10 minute warm-up on the cross trainer, and I was ready to go.

I’m still trying to figure out what evils I committed in a past life to deserve the general all-over body pain I now have to day; I’ll let you know if I figure it out.  Within about 3 minutes I was sweating like 10 proverbial pigs.  Thinking back (thankfully my brain came away unscathed and isn’t in pain, so at least thinking doesn’t hurt.  Well, no more than usual) we only did 4 exercises, and one of those was a stretch.  The most galling thing was we only did 15 minutes.  FIFTEEN!!!!!  Clearly the instructor could see we were broken at that point, so kindly stopped.  On the plus side, it obviously works, and clearly I need to persevere with it.  For a full body workout with a massive cardio hit to boot, you need look no further.  I need to add these evil contraptions to my workout plan, that’s for sure.

….but maybe in a couple of weeks when I can bend down to pick something up off the floor (like my dignity and pride) without spending a good minute working out the best way to get down that far without either crying or just collapsing in a heap.

All I can say is thank the hamstring-Lords above I’ve got 8 days to recover before my kettle bell session.  Wish me luck….