I started writing this post a few days ago, but I’ve chopped and changed it a few times before ending up where we are now.  Suffice it to say the delete button has been working overtime. This year has felt like it has been building up to one big turning point – reaching the big 4-0 – but events in the last couple of weeks have brought this turn of phrase into sharper focus.  An old friend of mine lost their life nearly two weeks ago, in a tragic accident.  It was such a shock, I still can’t actually comprehend that it has happened.  There is so much I want to say, and so much I started writing down, just to kind of get it out my head, but at the moment it doesn’t seem right to talk about this in an open forum (even if only about 5 people read this!), and to be honest it’s still too upsetting.  Anyone that knows me knows how much I advocate talking about stuff when it gets to you; personally I don’t know of a better way than dealing with the traumas and stresses life throws at you.  Thankfully for me, I’m lucky enough to have amazing friends to talk to in times like this, and I’ve been chewing a couple of friend’s ears off this week. I’ve also been reminiscing with two other very close mutual friends about happier times we all spent together when we met many years ago.  So as much as there are so many things I want to say, I can’t.  Maybe I’ll write a ‘Turning Points Part 2″ at a later date.  Right now though, all I can think about is how short and fleeting life is, so one of the reasons I decided to mention any of this at all, is because of where it’s led me today, and my decision to take some positive action.

When I started this blog it was because I wanted to make myself accountable for making changes in my life, in terms of weight loss and fitness goals.  I thought writing it all up here would mean that I would automatically just do everything I set out to do, because other people would get on at me if I didn’t.  These random posts I write do that to a certain extent, and keep me on the straight and narrow.  Kind of, ish.  At least, I end up walking a straighter line that I would otherwise have travelled.  The reality of it though is that I’ve become quite good at kidding myself that my nutrition is better than it really is.  In some respects I’ve made a lot of changes to my diet that I’m benefitting from, but on the other hand, I’m really in denial about how much crap I still eat.  Especially now that I’m consistently getting to the gym, and seeing some progress on that front.  For quite a long time I’ve wondered if I should bite the bullet and work with a nutritionist to get the help and support I need.  I’ve always been hard on myself though, and held the belief that surely I should just be able to get on with it myself and get it sorted?  I don’t need any help!  Well, in reality, I do. All I’ve been able to think about for the past 2 weeks is my beautiful friend, the zest for life that she had, and her ability to go out and get what she wanted from life.  If there was something she wanted to do, she went for it, and as a result she had achieved so much for herself in the last few years.  So what better positive action to take than go for what I want myself.  I need help to make sure I’m properly fuelling my training, managing stress and building a healthy, sustainable relationship with food.  I’ve initially signed up for a three-month plan with a local nutritionist, and the best thing is that the nutritional strategies are geared towards women who lift weights, which is exactly what I’m after.  I could have waited until after my upcoming holiday or my birthday, but I always find a reason to start tomorrow, and let’s be honest, tomorrow never comes.  Better to live for today and make the most of it.  I’m pretty scared about starting this journey, but optimistic and excited too.  I know all the hard work still lies with me – I’m the only person that can action the advice and strategies I’ll be given – but this feels like the missing piece of the puzzle.  This year has been pretty amazing all-in-all.  I feel better about myself than I ever have, so with this happier mindset, I can finally make some positive, lasting changes to my health.  I can’t wait to get started.

I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂